Borderline

excerpts of a mime’s day at the therapist (in the key of dynamic hand gesture)

i)

i guess …
i feel that i am
always,
forever,
battling,
a personal tug-of-war,
every day against an invisible bully –

i never win …
i end up with my rope snatched from me
repo’ed from my grasp
i end up with my feet kicking
or in a tailspin
before falling face first
into cold callous concrete

even in summer, the concrete is cold

ii)

imagine…
to take a second to lean on a ledge
are fleeting moments
because as soon as i walk off that ledge –
just, sometimes, i feel myself pressing my hands
against the walls of this all-encompassing box - -
i’m on edge

nobody understands me, they all stand and watch

to walk in my shoes is like constantly,
constantly,
walking
against
a wind
i once encountered in chicago

but even in the summer,
the shirt-grabbing push of the wind
as many people stand and stare
those conditions i’m always in are cold