Borderline

“A Tree Story”

I remember the day they brought you home from the hospital
though we hadn’t yet met
I loved you through the window  
from the back yard  

one time when you were five
you hugged me after autumn had stripped me of my leaves
we use to talk then
back when you could still hear me
I told you to squeeze me tighter
dry your eyes
my knots are what make me this beautiful
I shed my leaves on purpose
to catch snowflakes on my fingertips
to show you when you get home from school  

I gave you every piece of fruit I ever produced
dropping the ripe when ready  
freeing my fingers to make more
you only deserved the freshest
so I grew tirelessly in an attempt  
to become a one trunk orchard
my arms only strengthened  
to feed and hold you  

as you grew you forgot how to hear me
chalked up the wisdom passed down
to imaginary friends and A.D.D.
discounting my assurances  
that the purpose of life is growth
to let your heart unfold
blossoming into fruits to feed weary souls
Son, let your arms stretch out wider every year
learn from the redwoods
eep your head in the clouds  
while staying firmly rooted in the ground
despite what they tell you
this is not a dichotomy  
pessimists just don’t speak with us trees
you had a chance  

when you were fifteen you lost your virginity
beneath my shade
after seducing your first love with a picnic
I treated you both with blushing apples
and kept secrets  

a week before graduation you came home baring these shoulder boulders
school books just couldn’t compete with
I smiled from the roots up
when you climbed my trunk teary eyed
for the first time since
you’d gotten too cool for us to talk  

when you threw that rope over my arm
I thought you were finally gonna put  
that old tire to good use
so I flexed my fibers
as you tied all thirteen knots
I didn’t understand
when you put your head where  
that old spare should have been
when you adorned yourself  
with that unfashionable necklace  
like a sigh of relief   

you slipped through my fingers  
faster than I could catch you
writhing and kicking  
I shed my leaves like clouds shed tears
trying to build a mound under your feet
I screamed
Just reach!  

I swear if you grab my hand  
I’ll grow you a peach
anything to not have this memory
burned into me  

if I could have self-immolated  
my starburst would have put monks to shame
I let go of the ground
tried to topple like babble
but mother earth wouldn’t release my feet
enough for yours to touch
as deep as I’ve failed for you
I couldn’t fall for you  

so I rocked you to sleep
like your grandmother’s chair
made from my grandmother’s spine
we swayed together all afternoon
till around nine when the paramedics  
came to pluck you
my most precious of all fruits  

I’ll carve your name in this year’s ring
next august my apples  
will come out salty and seedless
I’ll do nothing but taunt  
every bulldozer to pass me
like a bullet in a barrel
till one finally comes to take me
shave me into a million sheets
make every slice of my skin
a poem of remembrance
I’ll forever dive toward lightning bolts
in attempts to follow you back
o that heavenly mansion
with that one open space in the back yard  

I’m coming home to you…
My boy…